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Helping a child who says "I'm bad at maths"

"I'm bad at maths." "I'm not a maths person." "I hate numbers." Hearing your child say this can be upsetting, especially if you felt the same way at school. The good news is that how a child feels about maths can change, and the adults around them can do a lot to help. This guide explains what maths anxiety looks like and what you can do at home.

What is maths anxiety?

Maths anxiety is a feeling of worry, panic or dread when faced with maths. It isn't the same as finding maths hard. Some children who are perfectly capable at maths feel anxious about it, and the worry itself gets in the way. When a child panics, it becomes much harder to remember facts or think through a problem, which then seems to prove that they're "bad at it". Breaking that loop is the goal.

Signs to look out for

• Saying "I can't do it" before they've tried, or giving up quickly.
• Tummy aches, tears or tantrums around maths homework, or on days with maths tests.
• Rushing through questions to get them over with, or guessing wildly.
• Freezing on questions they can usually answer, especially under time pressure.
• Avoidance: "forgetting" homework, or suddenly needing the toilet when maths comes out.
• Comparing themselves with others: "everyone else finished ages ago".

Any child can have a bad day. It's when these signs keep coming back that it's worth doing something about.

Change the words: "not yet"

Children often believe that being good at maths is something you're born with: you either have it or you don't. Schools work hard to replace that idea with a different one: everyone gets better at maths with practice, and struggling is part of learning, not a sign that you can't do it.

The words you use at home can back this up. Try adding "yet":

• "I can't do fractions" becomes "I can't do fractions yet."
• "I don't know my 7 times table" becomes "I don't know it yet, but I know my 2s, 5s and 10s."

Other phrases that help:

• "That's tricky. Tricky is how your brain grows."
• "What part of it can you do?"
• "Mistakes help us find out what to practise."
• "Remember when you couldn't do number bonds? Now you can."

And some to avoid, however kindly meant: "Don't worry, some people aren't maths people", "Come on, this one's not hard" (if it isn't hard and they can't do it, how does that feel?) and "Hurry up".

Your own feelings about maths

Lots of adults feel uneasy about maths, often because of how they were taught. That's nothing to be ashamed of, but children pick up a lot from how grown-ups talk and act. If your child hears "I was never any good at maths either", they may decide it runs in the family and there's no point trying.

A few things that help:

• Notice what you say. Swap "I'm hopeless at maths" for "I found maths hard at school, but I'm still learning."
• Show that you use maths and that it's OK to work things out slowly: "Let me think. We need 3 packs of 6, so that's 18."
• Be curious together. "I'm not sure. Let's work it out" is a great thing for a child to hear.
• Build your own confidence. Our guide to how maths is taught now explains the methods your child uses, and a short daily puzzle for adults can make numbers feel friendlier.

Low-stakes practice and games

Anxious children need lots of maths that doesn't feel like a test: no timers, no marks, no audience. The aim is for maths to feel safe and even fun.

• Board games and card games. Snakes and ladders, dominoes, Uno and simple card games all involve counting and number facts without anyone calling it maths.
• Dice games. Roll two dice and add them. First to reach 50 wins. For older children, multiply the dice instead.
• Let them be the expert. Ask them to teach you something from school. Explaining feels very different from being tested.
• Everyday maths. Cooking, shopping and planning a journey all use numbers with a real purpose. Our everyday maths ideas have plenty to choose from.
• Start with success. Begin with something they can already do, then add one small step.
• Leave the clock out at first. Speed matters for some things, such as the Year 4 times tables check, but it's best built once a child feels confident. Timed drills can make anxiety worse.

Puzzles can help too, as long as there's no pressure to finish. Getting stuck on a puzzle and then spotting the answer is one of the best feelings in maths.

When to talk to the teacher

It's always fine to have a word with your child's teacher, and it's a good idea if:

• the worry goes on for more than a few weeks, or is getting worse;
• your child is upset about going to school on maths days;
• homework regularly ends in tears, even when you keep it short;
• you think your child is struggling with the maths itself, not only the feelings.

Teachers often see a different side of a child in class, and they can tell you what's going on in lessons. They may also be able to offer extra support, such as small-group work.

A small number of children have dyscalculia, a specific and lasting difficulty with understanding numbers. If your child finds basic number sense very hard despite plenty of help, ask the school about it. They may involve the SENCo (the special educational needs co-ordinator).

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